Winter wonderland.

The snow crunched under my feet as I made my way up the staircase. I didn’t want to knock on her door, but I had to see her. I ran through the two scenarios that had built up in my head. One optimistic the other the complete opposite. .Right now I was leaning towards pessimistic. I knocked on the door. The sound of feet against stairs and an opening door and there she was in front of me again. “Hey” I whispered pulling back my lips into a smile. “MITCHELL” she practically screamed jumping out of her doorway into the lightly packed snow with her bare feet. I picked her up in a bear hug and gently set her back into the doorway. “Your feet will get cold” I said in a concerned tone. “Fine then, you come here and hug me” she said crossing her arms and pretending to be angry. “Your horrible at being mad at me you know” I laughed and embracing her in a hug. “I thought you would be mad at me” I whispered. “Well I decided it’s not your fault “she whispered back never breaking the hug to look at me. “Well this is going better then I thought it would.” I laughed at the scenario that I thought would play out. “What did you think would happen?” She broke the hug and pulled back to look at me “I figured that you would be upset or mad at me. So it played out by me knocking on your door, you answering, and then saying something along the lines of ‘I hate you’ then you slam the door in my face.” I said looking at the ground embarrassed of what I thought before. “Wow, that’s pretty bad” She said laughing “I guess you didn’t expect this then” She said leaning in and kissing me. I would have been fine with it if I saw it coming. I pulled back in surprise. When I recovered and looked back at her she was staring down at the ground. “Hey” I put my pointer finger under her chin and lifted her face so I could make eye contact and brought my face closer to hers “I’m sorry” I kissed her back. After a few seconds a broke the kiss. “You surprised me is all” I said leaning back into my original spot. I couldn’t think of anything to say and the silence started to get awkward so I said the first thing that came into my head. “Do you want to go on a walk?” I asked “Yes I do” She said flashing a smile. “Come inside while I get ready” she said moving out of the doorway so I could go in. “Is anyone home” I asked peeking around her to see if I could see anyone. “Yes, my mom is home.” She said looking to her side in a room that I couldn’t see from where I was standing. “Then I will wait out here” I decided. “No, Your coming inside” She grabbed my arm and pulled me towards the door “But I like it outside” I pleaded. Being alone with new people made me feel extremely uncomfortable and the fact it is her mother only made it worse. “Come on you look cold” She made another attempt to pull me in the house. “I don’t feel like being in a room alone with your mom.” I continued to resist her pulling “Please just do it for me” She threw out her best puppy dog pout “Fine just this once and I’m not leaving this doorway.” I said letting her pull me into her house. Once I was inside I looked where into the room I couldn’t see before to find her mom staring at me “Great this will be fun” I whispered so her mom couldn’t hear “It will be fine” She shot back. “Mother this is Mitchell, Mitchell this is my mother” She said motioning to both of us. “Alright, I will be right back” She said bolting up the stairs. I stayed in the hallway and tried not to look in the room which held her mother. “How are you today Mitchell” her voice wafting in from the other room. “I’m alright ma’am.” I said trying not to show how uncomfortable I was. “What are you plans with my daughter?” she said asking the question I really didn’t want to answer. “We are going to go for a walk.” I replied “Oh is that all” She shot back with a hint of sarcasm in her voice. Before it got any worse I heard feet on stairs “Alright, ready she said bounding down the last step. “I’m going on a walk mom I will be back later” she said slipping on her shoes. “So I’ve heard” her mom said with quite a vindictive tone. “Let’s go” I whispered frantically in her ear. “I think your mom wants my blood on her hands” I said as I opened the door. The cold wind blew against our faces and stung my throat. “Where too then” I asked as we stepped off the last stair of her porch together. “I’m not sure” she replied as we turned onto the sidewalk. We walked for a few seconds in silence. “Improv then?” I asked trying to break the awkwardness that the silence induced. “I guess” she shrugged. We walked without words for what seemed to be a really long time. I tired to think of something that would break it, but my mind was drawing blanks in till she broke it for me. “So I surprised you?” she said giggling and a grin spreading across her face. “Yeah, I really wasn’t ready for that “I admitted. It got quite again and I felt her arm brush against mine so I took her hand in mine intertwining my fingers with hers. She didn’t pull her hand away so I was satisfied. “Your hands are freezing” She complained lightly. “Sorry, they are always like this.” I informed her “I could stop if you would like” I joked. “No, no it’s fine” She shot back. I stared down at her and smiled as we turned the corner. “So, did you think of anywhere to go yet?” I asked trying to keep the conversation fluent. “No not yet.” She replied. We were once again walking in silence, but this one didn’t feel awkward. More peaceful because there was nothing that needed to be said. We turned another corner and I felt her hand begin to shake. “What’s wrong” I asked my voice laced with concern. “Its nothing I’m just a little cold is all” she tried to sound soothing. “Oh” I said taking my hand out of hers and unzipping then pulling my arms out of my winter jacket. “Wear this” I said holding it up for her to put her arms through “Put that back on. Its cold outside” She said scolding me. “Its fine, see” I said pointing towards the zip up hoody I still had on. “Anyway I’m actually kidna hot right now. I wore extra layers because I thought I might have to sit outside your house in till you would talk to me.” I flashed a smile. “I don’t want that” She said not sounding amused by my antics. “I stood inside your house when I didn’t want to because you thought I was cold. So where this because I think your cold now” I pleaded. “Fine” she said sticking out her arms. I slid the jacket down one of her arms then switched side and put on the other. She zipped up the jacket. “I forgot how tiny you are” I laughed at the size of the jacket compared to her. “I’m not short” she said getting frustrated. “Oh come on now I was just playing” I said putting my hand in hers and twining our fingers together again. I started to walk, but she didn’t move. “Come on” I said dropping her hand and wrapping my arms around her waist. Moving my face just inches from hers. “Please come with me” I breathed. She reached up to kiss me, but I pulled away. “Promise you will come with me first” I said moving my face closer to hers again “Fine” She said reaching up again, but this time I didn’t move. I held it for a few seconds before breaking it off. “Come on” I said dropping my hands and picking up hers. “Why do you want to go so bad?” She asked irritated. “Because I don’t like standing still.”

The price for love (New title anyone?)

The wind was blowing wafting the smell of freshly cut grass into my nose. Tears welled up her eyes. She tried to blink them back. "Don't you see" I whispered grabbing her by the waist and pulling her closer so I could whisper it. "See what?" she asked looking in my eyes trying to decipher what I was saying. "That I'm here and nothing will hurt you, not while I'm around'" I opened my mouth flashing my teeth. She looked at me for a long moment. "You know I don't love you like that." she said pulling herself out of my arms. "Yeah I know, I just you'd like to know how I felt and even though you don't like me the same way I'm still going to protect you. I hate seeing you like you were yesterday. I vow to you that I will always be there for you. No matter what happens." I sat down on the bench looking up flashing my teeth again. She sat down next to me weaving her fingers gently into mine. "But why?" she said whispered so quite I could barely hear her. I sat there for a moment staring out into the trees of the park. Gazing out onto the gold and yellow of the newly arrived autumn season. Leafs danced with the warm wind that blew against our faces. Moving majestically around the grass. I took a deep breath hoping it would keep my voice level. "Because it hurts me to see you in pain that way. I just want you to be happy no matter what has happened in the past." I turned to look at her and I met her gaze. Her eyes were swelling with tears. I dislodged my fingers from hers, grabbing her in a tight hug. "Whatever it takes to make you happy. No matter the price, I will pay it. As long as you’re fine, I’ll be ok too." I said my voice starting to shake. “Why be so self sacrificing? Why spend the time on me?” She said never breaking the hug “You still don’ see it. I love you. Not the traditional teenage love. This is unconditional love. The kind where you don’t have to give anything back.” I broke the hug and sat back. Tears now freely rolled down her face. “Please don’t do that.” Her voice breaking at the end. “Oh it’s far too late for that now, I’ve already met you.” I smiled brushing the tears away from her face with the back of my finger. “Now let’s get you home. It’s getting late.” I stood up, grabbing her hand to help her up as well. I ventured as far to try and weave my fingers into hers. She sighed pulling her hand free of mine and set the walking pace. Forcing me to take a few long strides to catch back up with her. “I’m sorry” I said getting in step with hers. Letting her set the pace. We walked most of the way in silence. My mind was elsewhere. I was drawn out by the sound of her voice. “Why?” she asked looking up at me. “Didn’t we go over this already?” I chuckled. “No, I mean why do you love me?” She said continued staring at me. “Well let me answer your question with another question. Do you know yourself?” I stopped walking to stare at her more intently. ”Well of cor….” I cut off her sentence. “It was rhetorical.” I said smiling and looking up at the fading sky noticing the first star of the night. “I thought of something. I think you see yourself as a human sees a star.” I pointed to the only star in the sky. “From your perspective you are small and you’re just like every other star out there. See how the edges look blurred?” She looked at the star with a curious gaze. “Yeah I guess” She eyed me trying to figure out what I would say next “Well that’s because of the atmosphere.” I paused to stare at her for a moment. “From your eyes your biased opinion on your life blurs reality, but me, I see you from a true perspective. So staying with the metaphor I am in space. I don’t see you through the murky mindset you see yourself through.” I paused taking a breath. “You don’t see how different you are from everyone else” She stared at me for a long moment, and then started walking again without a word. We walked the rest of the way to her house with no words. To me it seemed as she was almost in a daze. We rounded the corner to her street. I looked down on her, but her eyes were aimed straight down the road. I decided to prod a little. “What are you thinking right now?” I asked as she turned her head towards mine. “Really I’m not sure.” She looked back at the sidewalk ahead of her. “What do you mean?” I continued prodding. “I’m not really sure what to make of the day just yet.” We were at her door at this point. “Will you tell me when you have?” I said looking at the ground. “Of course I will.” She said reaching for me and pulling me into a hug. She broke off the hug after a few seconds and headed for the door. “Wait” I called after her. She turned and stared at me her head slightly cocked to one side. “I’ll understand if you don’t want to be around me after this, but I will still be there for you as much as I can be.” She stared at me for a long moment. “I promise today wont change anything” she assured me. She turned and disappeared behind a closing door.